EGO And I

I wish i was never among any of us
I wish i would never be here in this world
I wish I would simply be no one
I wish I would know what am i for
I wish I would get everything i get
I wish my desire would be fulfilled
I wish i would be super human in front of all

Its not my wish
Its a ego inside me
It is capturing me
It super is super incredible
I know its inside me and harming me
Like a addiction
I am addicted to it

I want to destroy it but i can't
Not because i don't know how
Not because I want to enjoy it over
Not because I want to check its power
But because I want to weight my strength
I am self completed

But i am losing my hope
I am confused and don't know if its a envy, ego or whatever
But i am feeling like my completeness is getting pores
I feel my emptiness is being filled
And i am here all helpless and hopeless

I know even god cannot help me here
The last hope of me is me
I know it
But ego is eating me
and recovery is not there
Now i have the choice either i die or save me

I know death is certain but i have not lived
So death will not come and i will be just suffering
unable to live my life with great cries

If i choose to save myself
Then I should know who i really am
Clear my confusion
Take the confusion out of me
And destroy it
But i am all hopeless because i am not me

Ego is enjoying it
and i am crying
I cannot raise voice
Because I can't
I simply can't
Ego is making me weak
Its controlling my mind

I know it can't but
Knowledge is bounded but ego isn't
The bounded art cannot save me
Ego is adulterated in imagination

its a war of me with ego where neither of us can win
but neither of us lose too

is suffering my fate?
Am i here to be unfortunate?
Is my life finished here?
will ego rule my life?
Will i get any chance to express it next time?

So finally I quit
I quit

Copyright@ Gajananda