I have my head crushed by fear
i am still just because of my belief
which is not what I know
i am shaking out of fear
don't know why I came on earth,
why I am with people,
why I am surrounded with their thoughts more than mine
Why is it
And I could know the answer but can't resist it
I let others control more than i do it
I let others enter me and I can do nothing about it
Every spirit is touching me
Every thought is changing me
Everyone is grounding me
And my fear remains the same
My fear was not there when i was with her
But now i am asking myself what I am for,
without her
only sinking in the fear.
I only believe her
and that is why I am not dead here
Now I ask myself what if I am on the edge of death
Will I try to resist or let it capture me..
Now each word to whom I laughed is full of fear to me
I am frightened both of Shiva and Yamraj, both Jesus and Lucifer, both good and bad
I fear of myself now...
GZ
Monday, October 17, 2016
Monday, September 19, 2016
I LOVE YOU
When I am not with you, i die a little
When I recall you, I constantly keep watching
That moment of you with me.
Whenever you used to run for the bus to get a front sit
and I had reserved that, I used to give that to you
Cuz I had got there for you and only you.
But something crashed up to us and you would be apart of us.
When I was walking in front of you, I used to change my gait to make you laugh and see you smile.
Now, I have come here in your thoughts and unknown that In reality you are not here.
But whenever I see you, I feel you and heart beats for you,
My dropped pen raises to write and my brain gets a lot of
these.
But How I say you this even in my thoughts.
Today is a new day and a new time for me to say to you.
So, here I say with my love, with my life;
I love you very very much _ _ _ _ _ _ _;
You are everything for me
And I wanna thank everyone behind this for this beautiful angel in my life making it So glorious.
Copyright@ Gajananda(GZ)
Thursday, August 25, 2016
Monday, August 15, 2016
Be yourself (Short Story)
Its the story of a boy named as Harry and another called Patrick. They were the best friends of the village where they lived. Harry was of 6 years and Patrick was of 10. They used to do every of their works together. Time was going on, one day they both went to a silent place where well was there and people used to fetch water from there every morning. Since it was time time of afternoon nobody were there. They were looking inside the well on the water surface. While looking down, one of them, i.e. Patrick fell there down who was of 10 years. Luckily he gripped the end of the rope attached with the bucket. He yelled a lot for help and nobody was there except for his 6 years friend Harry. Harry didn't get the time to think. As soon as he saw the incident and listened his pal, he caught the other end of rope coming through pulley and with his full power pulled the rope towards him. He was too little and was pulling the huge length of rope. The blood started to be seen in his hand but he had no concern there. He just heard the scream and decided that he will anyhow bring his friend up to the ground. He only thought that and pulled the rope. Finally after about 4 to 5 minutes he brought him up. Patrick thanked him and as soon as he saw the blood on his hand, he took the soil and floured over the hand because he knew doing that will heal him faster. They were very afraid that what will they answer about the hand. However they told the truth but nobody was there to believe them because the small kid who could hardly pick the bucket had pulled the ten years old boy with the bucket. Whoever listened their story used to laugh at them except a bishop of that village. Rather he thanked and praised Harry for saving the life of Patrick. Knowing that the most intelligent of the village believed them they were all shocked. This information soon spread like epidemic. Then to know what actually has happened or what was the reason behind believing them they all made a group and went to that bishop asked that how did they do this. Then the bishop laughed and told them they are telling you all how they did so. Harry caught the rope and started pulling the rope where his friend Patrick was trapped. Then all the villagers seemed puzzled. After few moment, bishop opened mouth to say the golden words that while they were only there and Patrick fell into the wall, all of a sudden Harry thought of helping him and bringing to him. For that he could do anything he must have to do. He saw the best option was to pull the rope. He pulled it with his full concentration and didn't listened to any voice and even his own voice to tell that he was too weak to pull the rope. Only Patrick was there who was in need of help by his friend and got the help.
Wednesday, July 20, 2016
TIME CHANGES BUT NOT LOVE
Criminal lover
The change is the biggest change
The change is that which changed you and me
This is the change which I turn to mild and wild
But this change is for the change
I can simply say That i hate you
But nevertheless Its for the change which I and you most awaited
Which You and me could never avoid
Which has now become the mission of my life
Which has now covered my heart and mind
Which now i and You miss all those words
All those moments which you and i lived together
Which you and i shared to one another
the moment which neither of us got down
That magical feeling which you and i felt
But its was the change
And unfortunately mine
It was me
It was i to be
the one to destroy us
the one to give extreme pain which none of us can heal
the one to vanish all those which you and i felt
murder all those feeling of love and
convert those to the tears and weepings
The deed which I could never heal
the space which I cannot fill
But its was the change
We never knew what change would be there
We only know change will be there and be ready for it
But I was not ready for the change
This departed our range
And put us to the cage
Which is full of dark and memories
Is it the punishment for not getting ready?
Is it the regration of being with you?
Is sharing our eyes wrong, ?
Was it a crime and am i criminal?
Then I will commit it and accept to be hanged.
But i will say, you do not love your wife, life and all your possession.
She was not a stranger but the princess of my world
- GAJANANDA MANI ADHIKARI
The change is the biggest change
The change is that which changed you and me
This is the change which I turn to mild and wild
But this change is for the change
I can simply say That i hate you
But nevertheless Its for the change which I and you most awaited
Which You and me could never avoid
Which has now become the mission of my life
Which has now covered my heart and mind
Which now i and You miss all those words
All those moments which you and i lived together
Which you and i shared to one another
the moment which neither of us got down
That magical feeling which you and i felt
But its was the change
And unfortunately mine
It was me
It was i to be
the one to destroy us
the one to give extreme pain which none of us can heal
the one to vanish all those which you and i felt
murder all those feeling of love and
convert those to the tears and weepings
The deed which I could never heal
the space which I cannot fill
But its was the change
We never knew what change would be there
We only know change will be there and be ready for it
But I was not ready for the change
This departed our range
And put us to the cage
Which is full of dark and memories
Is it the punishment for not getting ready?
Is it the regration of being with you?
Is sharing our eyes wrong, ?
Was it a crime and am i criminal?
Then I will commit it and accept to be hanged.
But i will say, you do not love your wife, life and all your possession.
She was not a stranger but the princess of my world
- GAJANANDA MANI ADHIKARI
THE STORY
This is my story:
When I was in standard three I wanted to roam free
But someone was there who was to catch my heart
My heart was the bird and my body was its wing
I was fine fine and joyful with other
Then you arrive as a turn which could rotate the sun
My heart got the beat that the wings also fit in the cage of yours
But I later realized it was a new world
Here you and I belong with same kind among all of us
This turned me from good to bad
I could do anything to take your glance
All those time of recess spending looking you and being around
If you too remember I had changed my gait to resemble like i am for you and you are for me
And all those activities I do was to see joys in you
It went three years long and i couldn't remember
That I had to admit what i felt and say those words
But those were like piercing my heart and blood coming ahead
I know I also got a chance but I had failed being nervous
Hence I regret whole my life for this deed
And that worse moment turned the year worst
I was first in those days and dancing in the exam
Unaware that those were my last days of your glance
The next session was my death
We had a change, and I was shifted to a new place
I was stranger in the world and miss all days your beautiful words
The world was old but I was new leaving you
The broken glass pierce me in
The monster ate me all But I was cursing me in the divine
What had I done, the world with you was already gone
Now I know the chance I got was the last one
I have never seen you in a million years
Later I found out I was to far in the magical world
The place where you were not there
I had everything but no one really made sense to me
And I still can't get it
Was I true to love you
Or I had fault in love
All the great one, died but they were together
Here I am dying just to see you
To see your soul whom I love
To your eye where i swam
To your heart where I always wanna live
For your one glance if I can die then why not live
I live and the life is only for you
I have hope which will never kill me and you
I love you endlessly but it is eternal
You might not fell I have huge grief
I though changed it to a hope
To a small light in a huge hole
To a log in deep river
To await for you in this new world
- GAJANANDA MANI ADHIKARI
When I was in standard three I wanted to roam free
But someone was there who was to catch my heart
My heart was the bird and my body was its wing
I was fine fine and joyful with other
Then you arrive as a turn which could rotate the sun
My heart got the beat that the wings also fit in the cage of yours
But I later realized it was a new world
Here you and I belong with same kind among all of us
This turned me from good to bad
I could do anything to take your glance
All those time of recess spending looking you and being around
If you too remember I had changed my gait to resemble like i am for you and you are for me
And all those activities I do was to see joys in you
It went three years long and i couldn't remember
That I had to admit what i felt and say those words
But those were like piercing my heart and blood coming ahead
I know I also got a chance but I had failed being nervous
Hence I regret whole my life for this deed
And that worse moment turned the year worst
I was first in those days and dancing in the exam
Unaware that those were my last days of your glance
The next session was my death
We had a change, and I was shifted to a new place
I was stranger in the world and miss all days your beautiful words
The world was old but I was new leaving you
The broken glass pierce me in
The monster ate me all But I was cursing me in the divine
What had I done, the world with you was already gone
Now I know the chance I got was the last one
I have never seen you in a million years
Later I found out I was to far in the magical world
The place where you were not there
I had everything but no one really made sense to me
And I still can't get it
Was I true to love you
Or I had fault in love
All the great one, died but they were together
Here I am dying just to see you
To see your soul whom I love
To your eye where i swam
To your heart where I always wanna live
For your one glance if I can die then why not live
I live and the life is only for you
I have hope which will never kill me and you
I love you endlessly but it is eternal
You might not fell I have huge grief
I though changed it to a hope
To a small light in a huge hole
To a log in deep river
To await for you in this new world
- GAJANANDA MANI ADHIKARI
Thursday, June 9, 2016
TEST OF LOVE
Test Of Love -Poem
Hate me for the cause
The cause i never know
Hate me
But please never forget
That i am there
Even though you hate
Or you will never love
It might be the ending for you
But the beginning
Of the new journey
Which often takes place
In the track where love goes
It might be your prank
Or you are bullying me
But never forget that
I will never hurt you
even if i have to leave me
and my body
I shall live for you
if i am in love which is true
so never admit me as a bad guy
or one to flirt
And we are in a bond
which is like element not brittle
we only realize the strength of thread
when it never to break
and ours is not a fake
its the best and most strongest
you could hammer it with the knife
and even throw a meteriod
its the star of no end
black hole comes
resulting to new rise
Its our life
we survive in our own way
but i will never leave you
cuz i live in you
and your are the one whom i can spend my hours
the one whom i can catch the hand forever
the one whom i can smile
and the one whom i love most
conflict is the normal and hate is the same
it comes and goes with out any fame
it has small name but massive destruction in
it is the way where love falls
it is the way of god
where we and our bond is tested
where we are giving exams
where we can find true love if succeed
and suicide if failed
who cares anyway beacuse you are my true love
and i love you
-Gajanandamani Adhikari
Hate me for the cause
The cause i never know
Hate me
But please never forget
That i am there
Even though you hate
Or you will never love
It might be the ending for you
But the beginning
Of the new journey
Which often takes place
In the track where love goes
It might be your prank
Or you are bullying me
But never forget that
I will never hurt you
even if i have to leave me
and my body
I shall live for you
if i am in love which is true
so never admit me as a bad guy
or one to flirt
And we are in a bond
which is like element not brittle
we only realize the strength of thread
when it never to break
and ours is not a fake
its the best and most strongest
you could hammer it with the knife
and even throw a meteriod
its the star of no end
black hole comes
resulting to new rise
Its our life
we survive in our own way
but i will never leave you
cuz i live in you
and your are the one whom i can spend my hours
the one whom i can catch the hand forever
the one whom i can smile
and the one whom i love most
conflict is the normal and hate is the same
it comes and goes with out any fame
it has small name but massive destruction in
it is the way where love falls
it is the way of god
where we and our bond is tested
where we are giving exams
where we can find true love if succeed
and suicide if failed
who cares anyway beacuse you are my true love
and i love you
-Gajanandamani Adhikari
Saturday, June 4, 2016
W H E N I G E T O L D
When I get old - Poem
Now i am young enough to know
will i be blow
when i am no more strong like i am now
Or i have to bear all which i see around
Is this the reality of the future
That old age is gold age or its a miracle
Which way will I be in when i go old
Leaving all being alone with family
Saying about myself
This is my happy time
And frighten always that the time comes when its gone
Today I am the king
coz I am loved by all
But when i grow old
and all these possessions
and nothing is with me
with some filthy clothes and ready to die
With the blunt knife of people around
And hope its only a bad dream
But truth is bitter and true is rude
So i will not be thinking about you
or only loving you
I won't have any work except using the fork
To eat and kill all those loneliness without you
So promise me now that you won't leave me
whatever happen or whenever the time
Either the young or old age
promise me that you will skip around me
coz you are only whom i trust and love
when my eyes are closed
i could see you and me on dining table
with some of our folks
and with our small crew
The old age which is true as our love
and it will never blow
we will never skip our days and nights
because i wanna love you and be everything we need
I will be around you and catch whenever you fall
I will never let you down and always be around
you too promise that you will be around
My dreams are dreadful without you
and you leave me and leave me alone
but please never let me in this dream
take me out of it and love me
We perfectly might not be fine
but being perfect lacks true love
and all this love is the existence among you and me
The old age
let it be fine and smile
on us of us
and suffer now for then
but who knows this world is not guaranteed
what will be the old age
going for being alone so
shake me and wake of this dream
and let our love flow
to the old age
either it comes or not
always protect our love as an ranger
always put me around as your shadow
Till the time come we go above
far above to our existence
where love is far more
But never leave me
in any phase or any age
coz it is obvious to be in old age
and be like your Nan for you
but never ban me from your love
and eradicate from your heart
coz I love you
and its only you for me
in every time and age
either shakespeare's seven our wordsworth's three
I will just love you
-Gajanandamani Adhikari
-Gajanandamani Adhikari
Thursday, June 2, 2016
F O R Y O U M Y L O V E N E V E R D I E S
For you My love never die - Poem
You are made just for me
And only me
I love you Endlessly I always want the smile in your chicks Because I do I really do That i always love you And its perfectly true Its just you and I love you I am here only for you For only you And it will never die Though I didn't tell you The purpose of coming so far Pretending to be a worker Because I know I will never free my soul Without you Let all the things blow which are behind me that differ me rom you And let me be closed But for you I will do anything but why this why you hate me why and why and why you don't talk to me baby, you knew that i could be all you need and i am still trying to say you That i always love you But never knew why you hated me till I saw you crying over and for me and finally know you are a patience but why not why you didn't tell this to me You forgot that I can also die but my love will never hide It will never die For you i can die with you when you die because you know that i love you and its true only for you nothing is good and bad the thing is like that when you are that then you know that i am not so perfect but only perfect don't get the true love but people like me also fall under coz you are my true love and for you i say this till my last breath that i love you and love you no plus ones no comments no shares
-Gajanandamani Adhikari
You are made just for me
And only me
I love you Endlessly I always want the smile in your chicks Because I do I really do That i always love you And its perfectly true Its just you and I love you I am here only for you For only you And it will never die Though I didn't tell you The purpose of coming so far Pretending to be a worker Because I know I will never free my soul Without you Let all the things blow which are behind me that differ me rom you And let me be closed But for you I will do anything but why this why you hate me why and why and why you don't talk to me baby, you knew that i could be all you need and i am still trying to say you That i always love you But never knew why you hated me till I saw you crying over and for me and finally know you are a patience but why not why you didn't tell this to me You forgot that I can also die but my love will never hide It will never die For you i can die with you when you die because you know that i love you and its true only for you nothing is good and bad the thing is like that when you are that then you know that i am not so perfect but only perfect don't get the true love but people like me also fall under coz you are my true love and for you i say this till my last breath that i love you and love you no plus ones no comments no shares
-Gajanandamani Adhikari
Monday, May 30, 2016
W H A T S O U L S A Y S A N D W H E R E I T G O E S
What soul says and where it goes -Poet
See the world
Full of darkness
No scope of hope
no hope of light
there won't be any bright
Have seen the light on our surface
Hand over to others and others
but internal light never lit
Seen the problems out
and not in
lost those who made you
Lost your origin
Lost the vision of life
Now no one's there to show the way
no one there to send away
This uniqueness and unity
are thrown away
Now seek for the hopes which are none
show the hopes which are gone
here comes the life of us
where hope is already lost
screaming comes be aware of future
you should make it luster
but the hope is gone
and on one is there to find
a little child is there to find
but that child doesn't find
and cries to state his future is none
but the elder treats the inability of the child
and beats with the voices high
being a child can't get the thing
and little becomes big
but forget what was to find
thinks a lot for the solution
become tired of the thing
already seek in everybody
thinks who's there left to see
Innocence makes him fool
forgets the one who is searcher
After that small seek
never tried to give a little peek
always thinks i am small
and all around me are always big
They are bigger and wider than me
I have lost somewhere in them and
somewhere around presents the solution
Lost his all time there
fears if i get screams again
Forget those dozens of claps
which tries to change his track
says that forget about that
and show what you have got
that only don't know what to do
Then forget all the searches of that
and goes miles away from that
Now runs after else thing
and thinks can i do this
Recalling all those times
which he spent on a thing
is this also the same one
Then my life is gone
In a small try starts a big cry
Loses the hopes of heart
Forgets what is love
Now the hate begins
that results on the end
With nothing in the hand
Wastage the time and all done
why should i live here
Now everything's gone.
What to do, this cruel world
Doesn't let to survive
this was my time
now its gone for all
that can't afford a single hall
No place where to live
no food what to eat
now enough is enough
This is the time, i may go
leaving this cruel world
over this piece of world
where my life is a gold
where my life is the gold
-Gajanandamani Adhikari
See the world
Full of darkness
No scope of hope
no hope of light
there won't be any bright
Have seen the light on our surface
Hand over to others and others
but internal light never lit
Seen the problems out
and not in
lost those who made you
Lost your origin
Lost the vision of life
Now no one's there to show the way
no one there to send away
This uniqueness and unity
are thrown away
Now seek for the hopes which are none
show the hopes which are gone
here comes the life of us
where hope is already lost
screaming comes be aware of future
you should make it luster
but the hope is gone
and on one is there to find
a little child is there to find
but that child doesn't find
and cries to state his future is none
but the elder treats the inability of the child
and beats with the voices high
being a child can't get the thing
and little becomes big
but forget what was to find
thinks a lot for the solution
become tired of the thing
already seek in everybody
thinks who's there left to see
Innocence makes him fool
forgets the one who is searcher
After that small seek
never tried to give a little peek
always thinks i am small
and all around me are always big
They are bigger and wider than me
I have lost somewhere in them and
somewhere around presents the solution
Lost his all time there
fears if i get screams again
Forget those dozens of claps
which tries to change his track
says that forget about that
and show what you have got
that only don't know what to do
Then forget all the searches of that
and goes miles away from that
Now runs after else thing
and thinks can i do this
Recalling all those times
which he spent on a thing
is this also the same one
Then my life is gone
In a small try starts a big cry
Loses the hopes of heart
Forgets what is love
Now the hate begins
that results on the end
With nothing in the hand
Wastage the time and all done
why should i live here
Now everything's gone.
What to do, this cruel world
Doesn't let to survive
this was my time
now its gone for all
that can't afford a single hall
No place where to live
no food what to eat
now enough is enough
This is the time, i may go
leaving this cruel world
over this piece of world
where my life is a gold
where my life is the gold
-Gajanandamani Adhikari
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