EGO And I

I wish i was never among any of us
I wish i would never be here in this world
I wish I would simply be no one
I wish I would know what am i for
I wish I would get everything i get
I wish my desire would be fulfilled
I wish i would be super human in front of all

Its not my wish
Its a ego inside me
It is capturing me
It super is super incredible
I know its inside me and harming me
Like a addiction
I am addicted to it

I want to destroy it but i can't
Not because i don't know how
Not because I want to enjoy it over
Not because I want to check its power
But because I want to weight my strength
I am self completed

But i am losing my hope
I am confused and don't know if its a envy, ego or whatever
But i am feeling like my completeness is getting pores
I feel my emptiness is being filled
And i am here all helpless and hopeless

I know even god cannot help me here
The last hope of me is me
I know it
But ego is eating me
and recovery is not there
Now i have the choice either i die or save me

I know death is certain but i have not lived
So death will not come and i will be just suffering
unable to live my life with great cries

If i choose to save myself
Then I should know who i really am
Clear my confusion
Take the confusion out of me
And destroy it
But i am all hopeless because i am not me

Ego is enjoying it
and i am crying
I cannot raise voice
Because I can't
I simply can't
Ego is making me weak
Its controlling my mind

I know it can't but
Knowledge is bounded but ego isn't
The bounded art cannot save me
Ego is adulterated in imagination

its a war of me with ego where neither of us can win
but neither of us lose too

is suffering my fate?
Am i here to be unfortunate?
Is my life finished here?
will ego rule my life?
Will i get any chance to express it next time?

So finally I quit
I quit

Copyright@ Gajananda

Be yourself (Short Story)

Its the story of a boy named as Harry and another called Patrick. They were the best friends of the village where they lived. Harry was of 6 years and Patrick was of 10. They used to do every of their works together. Time was going on, one day they both went to a silent place where well was there and people used to fetch water from there every morning. Since it was time time of afternoon nobody were there. They were looking inside the well on the water surface. While looking down, one of them, i.e. Patrick fell there down who was of 10 years. Luckily he gripped the end of the rope attached with the bucket. He yelled a lot for help and nobody was there except for his 6 years friend Harry. Harry didn't get the time to think. As soon as he saw the incident and listened his pal, he caught the other end of rope coming through pulley and with his full power pulled the rope towards him. He was too little and was pulling the huge length of rope. The blood started to be seen in his hand but he had no concern there. He just heard the scream and decided that he will anyhow bring his friend up to the ground. He only thought that and pulled the rope. Finally after about 4 to 5 minutes he brought him up. Patrick thanked him and as soon as he saw the blood on his hand, he took the soil and floured over the hand because he knew doing that will heal him faster. They were very afraid that what will they answer about the hand. However they told the truth but nobody was there to believe them because the small kid who could hardly pick the bucket had pulled the ten years old boy with the bucket. Whoever listened their story used to laugh at them except a bishop of that village. Rather he thanked and praised Harry for saving the life of Patrick. Knowing that the most intelligent of the village believed them they were all shocked. This information soon spread like epidemic. Then to know what actually has happened or what was the reason behind believing them they all made a group and went to that bishop asked that how did they do this. Then the bishop laughed and told them they are telling you all how they did so. Harry caught the rope and started pulling the rope where his friend Patrick was trapped. Then all the villagers seemed puzzled. After few moment, bishop opened mouth to say the golden words that while they were only there and Patrick fell into the wall, all of a sudden Harry thought of helping him and bringing to him. For that he could do anything he must have to do. He saw the best option was to pull the rope. He pulled it with his full concentration and didn't listened to any voice and even his own voice to tell that he was too weak to pull the rope. Only Patrick was there who was in need of help by his friend and got the help.

3 plus o